


Hold Me Closer

by blaindersonkummel



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4415195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blaindersonkummel/pseuds/blaindersonkummel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a BuzzFeed video I watched a while ago <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYo_ZVBKYdU">here</a> entitled Exes Cuddle Again For The First Time In Years (so that gives you an idea of the fic's premise).</p><p>The fic is set post-S6-break-up and it's pretty Blangsty (but y’all know I need a happy ending). It’s still set in New York, just a year after Kurt and Blaine broke up.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> View on tumblr [ here](http://blaindersonkummel.tumblr.com/post/124942568863/klaine-fic-hold-me-closer).

Blaine couldn’t sit still. He was twitchy, nervous, and he’d just checked his watch for the fifth time in ten minutes. His legs swung back and forth as he fidgeted in the plastic reception chair and he kept tugging on his bow tie to stop the choking hold it had around his neck.

In just a few minutes he would have to go in and face whatever was awaiting him. To say he was beginning to have second thoughts was an understatement. After he’d received a phone call asking him to take part in this project, he’d thought about accepting the offer for a week, before deciding enough was enough and that he had to face his demons.

And that was why he was nervous. He _was_ about to face his demons. He was here to see Kurt Hummel for the first time in a year.

A phone rang nearby, breaking Blaine out of his reverie as a woman holding a clipboard came tottering in on tiny heels that felt like a personal attack on Blaine every time they clacked against the tiled floor.

As she neared him, she stuck out a hand, indicating for him to shake it as she said, “Good afternoon, Blaine. I’m Shelly, from Buzzfeed. We spoke on the phone.”

Blaine quickly snapped back into prep school mode as he stood up, shaking the offered hand with an additional, “Yes, hi, good afternoon.”

“Now, Blaine. If you’d like to follow me, I can lay out the details as we go.”

Shelly instantly turned around and started up a brisk walk as Blaine grabbed his bag from the reception chair and followed her.

“As I’m sure was probably made clear to you, this video is set to be somewhat of a social experiment, so we’re very pleased you agreed to the conditions. Basically, we get two exes in a room together, in this case you and Kurt. Then you will each talk a bit about yourselves. And finally, we’ll film you laying down on the bed we’ve provided on set, and you simply talk about your past relationship – all whilst… ermm… “cuddling”.”

She awkwardly paused here to use air quotes, stopping to ensure Blaine was keeping up, both with the plan, and with her brisk walk. Whilst Blaine had already been debriefed about the video, it did help to hear the plans a few more times. It was, after all, not the usual way of reconnecting with your ex-fiancé.

“We just film it all, try not to intervene. I’m not going to lie to you though; it could go any number of ways. We’ve already had two pairs in this morning; one ended very well and they exchanged information to keep in touch. The other pair… well, let’s just say we’ve had to redress parts of the set.”

Blaine’s stomach lurched a little as he suddenly had the impulse to turn and run as far away from this studio as he could. Seeing Blaine’s face pale, Shelly gave a small laugh.

“Honey, it’s okay. I haven’t met Kurt for very long but I get the impression he’s not the kind of guy who would do anything like throwing a chair across the room.”

If she thought that would comfort Blaine, she was very wrong.

“Kurt…? He’s already here?” Blaine asked, feeling his pulse quicken.

“Oh. Yeah, we just finished his interview, actually. We had to ask him why he put you both forward for the project and what he hopes to gain from it. You get the idea.”

This was where she came to a halt, stopping Blaine beside her as she put a hand on his shoulder, and suddenly her eyes seemed ten times warmer and kinder than they had been a second ago.

“Everything will be fine, Blaine. He was the one to contact us, after all. And who knows, maybe something good will come from it.”

Blaine relaxed a little and felt some of the pent-up tension leave him as he nodded.

“Thank you. So, what’s the plan?”

Shelly instantly went back into professional mode as she continued walking and brought them on to what appeared to be a dressed set. A large double bed sat in the middle of the scene, with a sofa and bedside cabinets used to furnish what was supposed to resemble a bedroom. Blaine blinked a few times to adjust to the studio lights and instantly felt a chill down his back.

“Kurt’s just taking a break whilst we ask you some questions, and then we can get right to it and have you reunited,” she said with a smile that was clearly meant to appear encouraging, but which actually made Blaine’s stomach hurt.

They moved towards the crew resetting the lighting and Shelly positioned Blaine to sit on the side of the bed, facing the camera. After a few minutes she took a seat directly across from him and indicated they were ready to begin. When Blaine saw the red light on the front of the camera, he drew in a breath and waited for his first question.

-

In all, the interview wasn’t as bad as Blaine had anticipated, but he knew the worst was yet to come. All Shelly had asked him were the basic details of his and Kurt’s relationship: where they met, how long they were together, and how they broke up. When they reached that part of the interview, Blaine had to blink a few times as he recalled that terrible night with such clarity; How Kurt had torn his heart in two and Blaine had cried in a restaurant in the pouring rain, when only an hour before he had been researching their wedding venue.

It was at this point that Blaine began to wonder why he’d agreed to do this. After that night, after he moved out of their apartment, they hadn’t seen each other in a year. His depression got worse, he dropped out of college, he lost his (no, _Kurt’s_ ) friends, and ended up working at a Starbucks to pay the rent on his tiny one bedroom apartment. His life was pretty empty right now. This wasn’t exactly how he’d planned his reconciliation with Kurt.

Yet here he was, waiting for Kurt to enter the studio so they could finally take part in a project which could potentially make or break them. As if Shelly could read his mind, he spotted her a few feet away, walking and talking with the one man that still made Blaine go weak in the knees.

Kurt was just as tall, fashionable, and handsome as Blaine remembered, even if he did look somewhat slimmer and, Blaine noticed, slightly twitchy. His hair was still swooping, if a little droopy in places, and his clothes were still immaculate, if a little loose on his thinner frame. He was just as perfect as the day Blaine last saw him, and that really did feel like a punch to the gut.

He saw Shelly motion something at the camera operator and the next thing he knew, Kurt was being pushed onto the set, stopping abruptly next to the bed. Blaine peered up at him from his seated position and nearly melted when he looked into the eyes he’d lost himself in a thousand times before.

“Um… hi.” Kurt said nervously, clearly not knowing what to do with himself, or how to initiate their meeting.

Blaine blinked a few times before looking at the area next to him on the bed, then back to Kurt, before timidly indicating the spot beside him in invitation.

Kurt moved slowly and hesitated before taking a seat. Blaine could practically feel the tension radiating from him, but he was far too nervous himself to even consider comforting the man who put them here in the first place. Kurt knew he had to take the first step, so he swallowed his pride and sighed.

“It’s really good to see you, Blaine.”

Blaine’s insides twisted and he had to look away because he knew, in that moment, that looking at Kurt could cause a reaction he wasn’t quite ready to broadcast to millions of BuzzFeed viewers. So he looked away and held back the tears without an answer.

“I know this probably wasn’t what either of us ever considered to be our ideal reunion but, all the same, I’m glad you agreed to do it.”

This time, Blaine did look at Kurt, who had an apprehensive but very genuine smile on his face, and a kind look in his eyes. Blaine paused for a few seconds.

“I am too,” he replied quietly, and instantly Kurt lost the timid side to his smile and instead took the opportunity to reach across and put his hand over Blaine’s on the bed.

Blaine inhaled sharply but the moment was quickly ruined as one of the nearby crew members coughed loudly from their station. Shelly, now sat behind the camera, shot the man a dirty look for interrupting filming, before turning back towards a very flushed-looking Kurt and Blaine, with their hands still grasped between them.

“Okay boys, if you’re ready, maybe we can just get right into your cuddling position.”

The pair looked at each other, then back to the camera.

“Yeah, sure. Okay,” Kurt said, letting go of Blaine’s hand. Blaine immediately wished he hadn’t. Kurt dropped his voice, almost to a whisper as the camera crew reset.

“I understand this is hard, but we both agreed to do it. I need to be the one to hold you, Blaine,” his voice dropped even lower and gentler, “And this is not just about the cameras.”

Blaine trembled a little as he nodded and slid down the bed, lying down to face towards the crew. Kurt rolled over to lie down behind him, slipping one arm underneath Blaine’s torso and across his chest. The other hand rested on Blaine’s hip where his shirt was tucked into his jeans.

Almost instantly, Kurt noticed the soft bump under his palm - how Blaine’s waist wasn’t as trim as it once was, the last time he saw him. That caused a pang of guilt within Kurt, as he remembered a teary-eyed Blaine, stood in their kitchen more than a year ago, so uncomfortable in his own body and worried Kurt wouldn’t love him any more. It would make sense that being separated from Kurt would finally give him a reason to revert back to eating his feelings.

Instead of dwelling, Kurt moved his hand, running his palm down Blaine’s arm until he could lace their fingers together. He felt Blaine tense, then fidget a little to a comfortable position and once he found it, the two fit together like puzzle pieces. They both knew this was exactly what they’d been missing for the past year. And secretly, they both wished the next few minutes would last an eternity.

“So guys, now we have you in position, this is about communication and honesty so just talk about whatever comes to mind and we’ll take it from there. Whenever you’re ready.”

Shelly took a seat in her director’s chair and looked at them expectantly. Neither boy said anything for a few seconds, before Kurt broke the silence.

“So… this is pretty awkward, huh?”

Blaine really didn’t know how to respond. The man he was once supposed to spend the rest of his life with was pushed up against him, holding his hand, and yet Blaine still couldn’t find the courage to do anything but lay there.

“For what it’s worth, I did really miss this. I’ve missed _you_ ,” Kurt said, squeezing Blaine’s hand a little for emphasis.

Blaine knew he had to speak. He hadn’t been asked to do this to simply lie on a bed and stare blankly into a camera whilst his ex-fiance did all the talking.

“I’m pretty sure your boyfriend wouldn’t be too happy to hear you say that,” Blaine knew it came out a lot harsher than he meant it, but he wanted to get all the pain out of the way as soon as possible. He was lonely. He didn’t need to hear about the bachelors of New York throwing themselves at the guy who was once his.

“Well then it’s a good job that mystery boyfriend doesn’t exist, right?” Kurt replied jokingly, letting out a soft laugh at the fact that he finally got Blaine to talk. Blaine deflated some more at that. It actually helped Kurt that Blaine’s topic of choice cleared that issue up right away. But he still had to ask, “What about you? Will I have to worry about any jealous, muscley guys coming after me in an alley?”

Kurt laughed, but almost immediately he could tell that was the wrong thing to say when Blaine held onto his hand extra tight.

“Don’t even joke about that, Kurt.”

Blaine’s voice broke on his name and they both knew their minds were flashing back to the night of a phonecall, a hospital, and a serious bash to the head.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“And to answer your question: no. There isn’t anyone. It’s just me, the pigeons who live on my window ledge, and the 80 year old man next door who calls me _Blake_.”

“Oh. Right.” Kurt chuckled nervously. If things were different and not so awkward, he wouldn’t have hesitated in joking about Blaine living next door to the inspiration for some of his fashion choices. And yes, it would be a joke. The truth always remained that Kurt really did love Blaine’s unique style. His senior citizen-inspired ensembles always left Kurt picturing them one day sitting together in a nursing home for the elderly and fabulous.

“So where are you and your pigeons living now, then?” Kurt asked lightly, tucking his thoughts about the future away for later.

“I’m in Queens. Couldn’t afford anywhere else on a barista’s salary.”

Kurt’s heart broke a little at the snappy way Blaine replied.

“So you’re not in school?”

Blaine seemed to tense up again, but this time Kurt was certain it wasn’t from nerves or sadness, but he sensed some anger when Blaine spoke.

“Well Kurt, the school we both attended doesn’t look very kindly on not going to class and choosing to stay in bed all day. So no, Carmen kicked me out of NYADA and I haven’t been back.”

Kurt didn’t say anything, just let Blaine get out everything he needed to say.

“Packing all my things and leaving the loft that night we… I couldn’t get out quick enough. I didn’t want to see you and have my heart broken any more. I stayed in Artie’s dorm room for a week while I found a place and one day I left without telling him. I figured since he was your friend first, there’s no way he’d care. Guess I should have thought about that when I moved out and realised I was totally alone here.”

Blaine had gone from angry and teeth-clenching, to short sharp breaths and a wet patch on Kurt’s arm he knew had to be from Blaine’s tears.

Kurt heard a gentle sob, and when he looked up at the crew, everyone seemed particularly uncomfortable with the turn of events. He knew he had to fix this.

“Blaine. You have to know that, no matter what happens with us… or our friends… you are not alone. You really aren’t. I don’t care if we become worst enemies, I never want you to be hurt or feel like you don’t matter. Because you do. You matter so much. To so many people.”

Kurt had to force himself not to turn Blaine’s head and wipe away the tears, but as the sobs calmed down, he knew what to say.

“Hey… You know… I was thinking about you _just_ the other day.”

Blaine sniffed and Kurt wanted nothing more than to pull him in tighter. So he did.

“We’ve been doing a carnival themed spread at Vogue.com and Isabelle needed some help. Looking through the shots from the shoot, it really reminded me of one of our early dates when we first got together.”

Blaine’s breathing was shuddery and deep as Kurt continued.

“I remember that date so perfectly. We were still quite shy around each other back then. It felt so different doing those things with you as my boyfriend, not as my best friend.”

Blaine’s heart raced at the memory as he wiped at his eyes and held Kurt’s arms a little tighter to his body.

“The thing I’ll always remember that day was the ferris wheel. It was the one place we could be affectionate in public and not be seen. When the ride moved, you grabbed my hand so tightly because it made you jump,” Kurt laughed gently, “and I looked at you and I knew, in that moment, that I no longer had a silly crush on the dapper Blaine Warbler I saw every day at Dalton. I realised I was actually in love with Blaine Anderson, the boy holding my hand next to me.”

There was silence in the room as Kurt spoke and a pause that lasted a good fifteen seconds before a quiet voice broke through, startling him.

“I knew then, too.”

Blaine still didn’t turn around as Kurt asked, “What do you mean?”

“After the fair, we stayed at your house because it was closer. I don’t know if you remember this, but that night you were telling me all about your dad and Carol’s wedding; how you’d organised it all yourself, the week you decided to come to Dalton.”

Blaine was talking calmly now as Kurt was trying to think back to that night.

“When we were talking, you started telling me all about your dream wedding. You showed me your scrapbooks and your box of samples. You talked about everything from your perfect tux, to the music, and the food. And I instantly wished that, maybe one day, your dream wedding would also include.. _me_. That’s when I knew I loved you.”

Kurt was kind of speechless for a few moments. He and Blaine had both had a life-altering moment of realisation on the same day. And that was the day Blaine knew Kurt was the man he one day wanted to marry.

“Can I tell you something else?” Kurt whispered, a little teary himself now. “The reason I applied to do this video was actually because of another Vogue shoot. We started our wedding spread last month and on our first day, I told Isabelle I just couldn’t do it, and I walked out. She knew exactly why. I went straight home that day, opened some cheap wine, cried a bit, and sent in an application to BuzzFeed before I got cold feet.”

Blaine didn’t respond immediately but he took the pause to turn his body towards Kurt until he was laying flat on the bed, staring up at his ex-fiancé. Kurt was startled to see Blaine’s red-rimmed eyes, but almost like muscle memory, Kurt shifted to his side, elbow propping his head up as his other hand came down to push a stray hair behind Blaine’s ear.

“Can I tell _you_ something?” Blaine asked sheepishly, blushing at the gesture. “When I got the call asking me to do this, I was angry. You’ve been out of my life for a year, and I’ve wanted to stop myself getting my hopes up for so long. At first, I thought this was a way for you to gloat about your amazing life without me and I would have to talk about those awful months I spent without _you_ and how I’m doing now. I guess I have talked about those things. But I can safely say that I don’t feel angry anymore. I thought about using this project to get revenge, to make my life sound much better than it is, to throw a chair and tell you to never speak to me again. But then I realised I could never do any of that, because when I see you, my mind goes blank and all that matters to me is that you’re there.”

Kurt didn’t know what to say to that as he stared down at Blaine and Blaine gazed back up at him. All Kurt could do was move his hand and place it over Blaine’s heart, both of them forgetting the fact that they weren’t in the loft bedroom, and they were actually being recorded for millions of people to watch.

“Blaine, I’m really sorry.”

Blaine smiled the first real smile Kurt had seen on him all day as he responded, “Thank you, Kurt. That means a lot.”

Kurt moved the arm keeping his balance and slowly started to dip his head as Blaine craned his neck, their faces moving slowly closer.

“Aaaaaaand cut!”

Both boys were instantly brought out of their bubble as  Shelly called out and Kurt suddenly realised how close he had been to doing something he might have regretted doing on camera. He was suddenly very thankful to Shelly for the disruption. Blaine looked positively crimson below him.

“Boys, that was wonderful. I really think we got something great with that footage. Lastly, we just need to film your final verdicts on the experiment and then we can let you on your way.”

Suddenly, Kurt felt tense again as he realised he would have to talk about his feelings to camera yet again. The crew set up around them as Kurt and Blaine moved back to their seated positions on the edge of the bed, facing Shelly. Kurt took the opportunity to find Blaine’s hand with his and thread their fingers through the spaces as Blaine looked back, still slightly dazed.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Blaine nodded resolutely but didn’t elaborate as Shelly called for action. Kurt noticed their hands didn’t let go.

“So, Blaine, how did this experiment make you feel?”

Blaine paused as he searched for the right words, still not moving his hand from Kurt’s.

“Well, I feel that admitting that I’ve been struggling is really something I should be saying on a psychiatrist’s chair, but this seems as good of a platform as any.” He laughed hollowly and dipped his head. “It made me feel like I could let go for the first time in ages, being with Kurt. I’m not sure it was a pleasant experience, but I’m sure I’ll come away from this knowing it was the right decision to agree to do it.”

They held hands tighter as Shelly directed the same question at Kurt, and he responded.

“This project just confirmed everything I’ve known for the last year. I’ve been an idiot.”

Blaine’s head whipped up to face Kurt so quickly, it was almost comical.

“I’m an idiot who let something amazing go for no good reason and have regretted it every day since. I’m an idiot in love who sabotaged a marriage to prove I was mature enough to know what marriage meant. I never considered the fact that the whole point of marriage, at whatever age, was to find your soulmate and know that was enough. I spent too much time worrying about the little things, I forgot to appreciate the only thing that mattered.

We’ve both made mistakes and we’ve both dealt with things the wrong way at times, but I can only hope that this project will be the thing that saves us, in whatever way that may be.”

Kurt refused to look at Blaine as Shelly called cut, even when he knew his bright eyes were on him. They each stood from the bed, shook hands with the director, and grabbed their things to leave, neither saying a word, both going through the motions and ignoring what just happened.

Just as both men rounded the corner out of sight, Blaine stopped Kurt with a hand on his chest. Before he could say anything, however, Blaine’s lips were on his, with nothing but affection in the kiss. As they parted, Blaine still couldn’t look at Kurt.

“Thank you for getting us to do this. And for the apology. And for… just being you.”

Blaine’s fingers fidgeted with Kurt’s tie as Kurt brought his hand up to Blaine’s chin to make him look up.

“I love you, Blaine. I want to tell you that everyday and write it across the sky and yell it from the rooftop but for now, I just want to say… I love you. I want to fix us. And I promise, I’m never saying goodbye to you again.”

Kurt lingered, eyes darting back and forth as he waited for Blaine to respond, to rip them apart again or put them back together. After a few seconds, he almost gave up, when he heard those four words he’d been waiting for.

“I love you too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Blaine watch the video for the first time and Blaine finds out Kurt’s feelings before they reconnected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> View on Tumblr [here](http://blaindersonkummel.tumblr.com/post/125532878508/klaine-fic-hold-me-closer-part-2).

“I’m really nervous, Kurt.”

“Oh honey, there’s no need to be nervous.”

“I just don’t know if I’m ready to be laid out so bare like this.”

“I won’t lie to you. It might hurt a little, but I think it’s something we both need – something we both want.”

“What if I can’t handle it?”

“We will stop if and whenever you need. Just say the word and we’ll stop.”

Blaine had never felt more vulnerable in his life, laid out on the sofa, half on top of Kurt, his head pillowed on his chest.

“Okay, let’s do it.”

Blaine sat up quickly before he could change his mind and paced to the bedroom, leaving Kurt in the living room for a few seconds before he emerged again, holding a laptop.

“I promise, B. I really think watching this video back will be good for us,” Kurt said, “Our memories of that day are too emotionally charged to really remember. I’m just thankful someone caught it on tape.”

Blaine smiled and took a seat on the other end of the sofa after Kurt swung his legs off to sit up straight. He opened the laptop and brought up his e-mails, clicking on the latest entry.

_Blaine,_

_First of all I’d like to start by thanking you and Kurt for participating in our BuzzFeed video two months ago, and for giving us plenty to work with in the editing stages. Truth be told, we didn’t want to cut much out of either of your parts; they were so heartfelt and exactly what we wanted to see from the ups and downs of a relationship._

_This is just to let you know that the video will be uploaded around 12pm tomorrow, at the link address I’ve attached below. We hope to hear some feedback from you and maybe work with you again one day. It was really lovely to meet you both, and I sincerely wish you all the best for the future._

_Thanks again,_

Kurt had received an e-mail very similar to this one so Blaine didn’t wait to read it again before he hovered the mouse over the link, biting his bottom lip and urging himself to just click the button. In that moment, Kurt took his other hand, which Blaine hadn’t realised was shaking in his lap until now.

“It’ll be okay, Blaine. Just think of how much that project has already changed our lives. We got each other out of all this.”

Blaine pulled an odd expression, certain he remembered saying those exact words to Kurt some years ago. He knew Kurt was right. After their time at the BuzzFeed office, everything _had_ changed.

The day of the video shoot, after the pair had confessed they still loved each other, they had simply linked hands and walked out of the building together, ready to try again. That night, they went to dinner and talked some more, keeping the conversation much lighter than their earlier revelations of the day. At the end of dinner, Kurt walked Blaine to the subway station and asked the one question itching under his skin.

_“Was this a date, Blaine?”_

Instead of an answer, Blaine had simply leaned forward and brought their lips together in a sweet and tender kiss which Kurt was more than happy to return.

Kurt looked positively wrecked as he finally pulled away and croaked out, _“I’ll take that as a yes, then,”_ much to Blaine’s giggly delight.

In the weeks following that day, the pair had gradually been finding their ways back into one another’s lives. They texted constantly, went on more and more dates, and eventually, after one _exciting_ trip to the New York zoo aviary, Kurt also found himself with Blaine back in his bed.

In the two months since reconnecting, things had been going a lot better. They only encountered one slight catastrophe three weeks in, after a date at Central Park. That day, when they had exited the peaceful park on to the crowded stretch of shops, restaurants and tourists, Kurt had felt Blaine stiffen, frozen in place and trembling like a leaf. When Kurt asked what the issue was, Blaine could only take in a shuddery breath before he started hyperventilating and pulled his hand away from Kurt to physically hold himself together.

When Kurt started to panic slightly, trying to look for a way to calm Blaine, he finally discovered the cause of the problem. The one exit they decided to take out of the park just happened to be right across the street from the one place Kurt never wanted to see again. It was the restaurant he and Blaine had met at, the night they broke up. As soon as Kurt realised, he physically turned Blaine away and walked them in the other direction, waiting until they were back at the loft to soothe Blaine’s obvious panic attack and whisper words of love to him until he believed them.

Kurt never wanted to see Blaine react like that ever again.

But despite their setbacks, in the last two months of reconnecting, Kurt was beginning to feel like they were at a place where they were even stronger than they were over a year ago. Kurt suddenly seemed to understand the truth behind the phrase ‘ _absence makes the heart grow fonder’_ , as he simultaneously cursed that year spent apart, whilst also appreciating what they had now.

Now, as Blaine breathed deeply and looked back at his boyfriend next to him, he mentally recounted some of their past two months together, just as Kurt had.

“There’s only one part I’m so nervous to watch,” he said, eyes soft on Kurt’s face, “I never got to hear what you said before our interview; why you put us up for the experiment and what you hoped to gain from it. If the last two months are anything to go by, I’m pretty sure I didn’t mistake your signals of wanting to get back together,” they both gave a soft laugh, “But, truth be told, I’m still nervous.”

Kurt squeezed his hand again and leaned forward to press a kiss to Blaine’s temple.

“You have nothing to worry about. I promise. There’s a… well, there’s a reason I want us to watch this video together for the first time. I need you to know how sure and certain I always was about you, about us.”

Blaine nodded and felt certain in his answer when he replied, “Okay, I trust you”, the light returning to his eyes as he smiled, placed the laptop on the coffee table, and pressed play.

The video loaded as the title “BuzzFeed presents: _Exes Cuddle Again_ ” flashed on screen, with some music to accompany the intro. The short clip at the start showed a couple from the experiment, embracing on the bed as the man asked “So… how’s your boyfriend?” to which the woman replied “He’s great.”

The awkward icebreaker at the start of the video set the tone for this couple’s jokey introduction as they each told the story of how they met, when they broke up, and what they hoped to gain from the experiment. A minute later, they were followed by another ex-couple, two lesbians each hoping to clear the air after their relationship ended over a fight about a sweater. Kurt and Blaine laughed at that, then both quickly remembered that toothpaste and a towel played a part in their break up and they instantly felt more sympathy for these girls.

The next pair was a mess: two people clearly still very angry at their break up, looking like they’d come prepared for a fist fight. Blaine was suddenly reminded of how Shelly, the director, had told him one of the men in the experiment threw a chair on set, and Blaine didn’t doubt for a second that this guy was the culprit.

And finally, it was their turn.

Kurt’s face came into view on screen and Blaine gasped as he saw the man currently sat next to him appear on a set of bright lights and bedroom furnishings.

“My name’s Kurt and I was together with Blaine, on and off, for just over three years.”

Blaine leaned closer to the screen and held Kurt’s hand tighter, breathing shallow and eyes wide.

“We met at high school... well, his high school. To cut a long story short, I was sent by my show choir group to spy on his team before our regional competition. I asked him for directions to their practice room, not knowing he was their lead vocalist,” Kurt laughed shakily and looked at the camera as he said, “No, the irony is not lost on me.”

“We became best friends, we did everything together, and we fell in love.”

The Kurt sat next to Blaine let out an eerily similar deep breath at the same time as the Kurt on screen – however, the Kurt in the video was slowly welling up with.

“Our friends always said we were like soulmates, but I would always laugh and wave it off and say I didn’t believe in any of that. Then one day Blaine told me he really did believe we were. Soulmates, that is. I thought it was sweet, but I was still never convinced.”

Kurt on screen was gently crying now, tears streaking his rosy cheeks as he rasped a shuddery breath.

“And then he asked me to marry him.” Kurt paused for a second to collect his thoughts. “I’ll never forget his speech about finding each other in every lifetime and how his soul knew we were meant to be together. It wasn’t until the day we broke up, I suddenly felt like I knew exactly what he meant. I literally felt like my soul was ripped in two. There’s no physical pain like it.”

Now Blaine was weeping as he watched his boyfriend on screen recounting the pain they both endured in the time after their separation.

“I’ve said I regretted my decision every day since we broke up, and it’s true. And God, he might still hate me so much and never want to see me again. All I know is, I would be happy to wake up every day and see his face and know that two soulmates can go through hell and come out the other side together.”

The Kurt next to Blaine seemed tense and jittery, whilst the Kurt on screen looked absolutely sure of himself as he finished what he had to say.

“One day… maybe soon, maybe in years to come… I still want to marry him. We haven’t seen each other for a year and I _still_ know we’re meant to be together. This might be my crazy last chance at having any hope of that ever coming true, but I’m willing to try. For him.”

That was the final blow. Blaine’s sniffles turned into a full on sob as he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his cardigan. Kurt’s piece finished as the video cut to Blaine’s introduction. The Blaine on the sofa was no longer paying attention, drying his tears and calming his breaths. He closed the laptop and moved it to the side. A second later, he felt Kurt pull his hands away.

When Blaine turned to look, Kurt was half balanced on the sofa, wobbling as he moved into a fully crouched position on one knee. Blaine’s heart was racing, his mind instantly catching up to the scene happening before him.

“Blaine,” Kurt spoke softly, a look of pure love in his eyes as he took back both hands in his.

“The last two months together have just been…” he paused, not knowing how to continue, staring into Blaine’s enormous, teary eyes. “Getting you back and seeing our relationship from a different angle has taught me just how precious you are to me. Just how much I need to appreciate you. You make me a better person, Blaine. I want nothing more than to protect you and show you I love you every day forever and ever.”

Blaine sobbed again and laughed as he brought one hand up to wipe his eyes before resting it back in Kurt’s.

“A while ago you asked me a question. An important one. And although I got lost along the way, I promise, I would marry you right now if I could.” Kurt shifted, smile going dim for a moment as he continued, “When you plan to marry your best friend and it never happens, the world gets darker... colder. When you came back into my life, I found that warm spark of light I’d been missing. You brought it back.”

Blaine blinked and sniffed, willing himself to hold back for just a little bit longer. Kurt let go of Blaine’s hands to instead reach behind himself, into his pocket, before he brought them back in front, a small red box in his hand. Blaine stiffened, eyes darting from the object to Kurt’s face.

“In my bedside cabinet is a small black box with the most precious possession I own. I haven’t gone near it for a year because I hoped that maybe, the next time I touched it, I would be putting it back on and calling you my fiancé again. So this is what I propose…”

Kurt flipped open the box and Blaine had to choke back his tears and a snort as he saw the two items inside: one gorgeous silver engagement band, and one Double Bubble gum-wrapper ring.

“I promise to always love you – to kiss you whenever and wherever you want. I promise to laugh with you on good days, and hold you on bad ones. I promise to run you hot baths in times of stress, and make you cheesecake twice a year. I promise to remind you how amazing you are and to keep you grounded when life gets in the way. I also promise, no matter what we said before, to never name our child Fettuccine.” They laughed again, both on the verge of hysterically giggling or crying, unsure of what would come first.

“But mostly, I promise to grow old with you, to be happy, and to never regret a thing. So, Blaine Anderson, the love of my life, will you marry me?”

“Kurt,” Blaine paused for a split second before immediately bending down to hold Kurt’s face in his hands and kiss him breathless. They barely parted an inch as Blaine kept his face close, smiled, and nodded his head. Tears fell freely now as he breathed out against Kurt’s lips, “In every lifetime.”


End file.
